Sonnet Sunday DS-004: Jeremy’s Krill Quip

It is my goal this year to write at least one sonnet per week for all of this year, and possibly beyond. For rules and discussion of sonnet structure, pop over to this introduction.

I was struggling for a topic to write this week’s sonnet after drawing a blank all week, until I listened to this episode of The News Quiz, which is what I would consider a predecessor of our Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me but with fewer silly games.

One particular snickered-of line by favorite panelist Jeremy Hardy (wiki) had just the perfect meter, and which got the gears turning for me just in time.

“My crotch was full of krill,” said Jeremy,
The News Quiz panelist, just recently.

A cop-out sonnet topic fell on me,
When listening to it on BBC.

Although I stream online and never live,
It has become a favorite routine;

I live in Texas and would never strive,
To find the hour which I would convene.

But none-the-less I listen to it oft,
For most of my Brit news, albeit scoffed.

I’ve been listening to The News Quiz since Series 75 or so, back when Sandi Toksvig (wiki) was host — the series just prior the infamous Panto episode. It’s especially enjoyable to hear their ridicule of American news which occasionally pops up, but the BBC’s policy on hosting prior episodes is bizarre to me, in that there is a listening window open for about 30 days and then it disappears forever.

I listen to loads of other BBC Radio 4 shows like The Unbelievable Truth (for which I have an unofficial Facebook fan page), Rhod Gilbert Live (which I have been able to catch twice so far actually live), and I’m Sorry, I Haven’t A Clue (for which there is a thriving Facebook group with lots of word-laughs on the off seasons between one series and the next), among others..

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Tom Swifty Tuesday: Feb 2018 Week 3

“It’s the night before my graduate record exam!” Tom grieved.

Come up with a better Tom Swifty joke than this, and your tweet will get featured on this post and added to the Masterlist of Tom Swifty Jokes with credit for submitting it.. It’s Tom Swifty Tuesday!
Continue reading

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Monday Miners: DONRIGSAY

Each Monday, give yourself one solid minute to try to come up with the longest word you can find by rearranging the letters below, and see if you can best the panel from the British comedy words-and-numbers show, 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Once you’ve settled on a word, click and highlight the area below Answers to reveal what words the panel found, and see whose was longest =)

This letters-game comes from Series 1, Episode 2:

DONRIGSAY

Answers:

saying, adoring, dragons

Did you do better?

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Sonnet Sunday DS-003: Blessed Be Forescheduling

For rules and discussion of sonnet formats, pop over to this introduction.

This week’s sonnet is a bit clunky, I must admit. When I wrote it I was a bit flustered with myself for writing it with a different rhyming scheme (AA, BB..) and then having to rework it -_-

The thing I like the most about today’s
new web design formats are all of those,

which let me make a post and set it days,
ahead so I can write out all the prose,

and not have to wake up and make a post,
the morning of the date it needs to go.

Since I seem to prefer to write the most
in bigger bursts instead of writing slow,

I’m blessed with the ability to make,
an automated post and take a break.

I made two flubbed versions of this sonnet.. one during the first writing, I realized I used the wrong rhyming scheme, and then in my correction, I used yet another wrong rhyming scheme. There are actually 3 versions of this same sonnet with somewhat different wording, but I’m pleased this one worked out the best overall.

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Sonnet Sunday DS-003: Blessed Be Forescheduling

For rules and discussion of sonnet formats, pop over to this introduction.

This week’s sonnet is a bit clunky, I must admit. When I wrote it I was a bit flustered with myself for writing it with a different rhyming scheme (AA, BB..) and then having to rework it -_-

The thing I like the most about today’s
new web design formats are all of those,

which let me make a post and set it days,
ahead so I can write out all the prose,

and not have to wake up and make a post,
the morning of the date it needs to go.

Since I seem to prefer to write the most
in bigger bursts instead of writing slow,

I’m blessed with the ability to make,
an automated post and take a break.

I made two flubbed versions of this sonnet.. one during the first writing, I realized I used the wrong rhyming scheme, and then in my correction, I used yet another wrong rhyming scheme. There are actually 3 versions of this same sonnet with somewhat different wording, but I’m pleased this one worked out the best overall.

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Monday Miners: UGSEAMBPO

Each Monday, give yourself one solid minute to try to come up with the longest word you can find by rearranging the letters below, and see if you can best the panel from the British comedy words-and-numbers show, 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Once you’ve settled on a word, click and highlight the area below Answers to reveal what words the panel found, and see whose was longest =)

This letters-game comes from Series 5, Episode 8:

UGSEAMBPO

Answers:

pages, games, omegas

Did you do better?

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Masterlist of British vs US Words: Boot vs Trunk, Chips vs Fries, etc.

Just a quick but extensive list of words that are different in the UK-at-large from American English, but are generally the same thing.




US: Chips (Doritos, etc)
Brit: Crisps

US: french fries, potato wedges
Brit: chips

US: Cookies (Oreos, etc)
Brit: Biscuits

US: restroom, toilet
Brit: Loo, WC, bog

US: toilet paper, TP
Brit: bog roll, loo paper

US: trunk (storage area of a car)
Brit: boot

US: going on vacation
Brit: going on holiday

US: apartments
Brit: flats

US: counterclockwise
Brit: anticlockwise

US: sneakers, tennis shoes
Brit: trainers

US: sweater, hoodie
Brit: jumper, hooded jumper

US: truck
Brit: lorry

US: bullhorn
Brit: loudhailer

US: 18-wheeler, semi
Brit: articulated lorry

US: coveralls
Brit: boiler suit

US: hood of a car
Brit: bonnet of a car

US: vest
Brit: waistcoat

US: tow truck
Brit: breakdown van

US: plastic wrap
Brit: cling film

US: crib (for a baby)
Brit: cot

US: public housing, ‘the projects’
Brit: council estate

US: alligator clip
Brit: crocodile clip

US: defroster (in a car)
Brit: demister

US: robe, bathrobe
Brit: dressing gown

US: pacifier, binky (for a baby)
Brit: dummy

US: trash, garbage
Brit: rubbish

US: ground (electrical)
Brit: earth

US: fire department
Brit: fire brigade

US: fish stick
Brit: fish fingers

US: switchblade
Brit: flick knife

US: yard, lawn (front yard, back yard, etc)
Brit: garden (front garden, back garden, etc)

US: period (punctuation.)
Brit: full stop

US: gear shift
Brit: gear lever

US: bachelor party
Brit: stag do, stag night

US: going to the hospital, in the hospital
Brit: going to hospital, in hospital

US: jelly beans
Brit: jelly babies

US: John Q Public
Brit: Joe Public

US: rummage sale, garage sale
Brit: jumble sale

US: crossing guard
Brit: lollipop (-man/lady)

US: suspenders
Brit: bracers

US: hungry
Brit: peckish

US: zucchini
Brit: courgette

US: math
Brit: maths

US: odometer (car gauge measuring distance)
Brit: milometer (‘mile-ometer’)

US: cell phone
Brit: mobile

US: newscaster, anchor
Brit: newsreader

US: tic-tac-toe
Brit: noughts and crosses

US: license plate
Brit: number plate, registration plate

US: baked potato
Brit: jacket potato

US: eggplant
Brit: aubergine

US: turtleneck
Brit: polo-neck

US: absentee ballot
Brit: postal vote

US: utility pole, telephone pole
Brit: pylon

US: jump rope
Brit: skipping rope

US: take-out, to-go order, fast food
Brit: takeaway

US: check mark the box
Brit: tick the box

US: ‘knock on wood’
Brit: ‘touch wood’

US: truck stop
Brit: transport cafe

US: subway
Brit: underground, tube

US: closet, armoire
Brit: wardrobe

US: the letter Z (‘zee’)
Brit: the letter Zed

US: fender (of a car)
Brit: wing

US: certified mail
Brit: recorded delivery

US: to get in line (to wait one’s turn for something)
Brit: to queue up

US: doing pushups
Brit: doing pressups

US: oven mitt
Brit: oven glove

US: diaper
Brit: nappy

US: popsicle/otter-pops (both brand names)
Brit: ice lollies

US: bangs (hair that hangs down in front)
Brit: fringe

US: divided highway
Brit: dual carriageway

US: fanny pack
Brit: bumbag

US: cotton candy
Brit: candy floss

US: parking lot
Brit: car park

US: soccer
Brit: football

US: gelatin, Jell-O
Brit: jelly

US: jelly (sandwich spread)
Brit: jam

US: motorcycle
Brit: motorbike, motorscooter

US: Hoveround (brand), motorized chair
Brit: mobility scooter

US: sidewalk
Brit: pavement, footpath

US: gasoline (fuel for vehicles)
Brit: petrol

US: in the mail
Brit: in the post

US: eraser (such as for pencils)
Brit: rubber

US: schedule
Brit: timetable

US: multiplication tables
Brit: times-tables

US: flashlight
Brit: torch

US: windshield
Brit: windscreen

US: advice columnist
Brit: agony aunt

US: German Shepherd (dog)
Brit: Alsatian

US: parka-style jacket
Brit: anorak

US: lawyer, attorney
Brit: barrister, solicitor

US: ink pen, ball-point pen
Brit: biro

US: parenthesis
Brit: round brackets

US: downtown
Brit: city centre

US: stove
Brit: cooker

US: resume (job application document)
Brit: CV

US: tuxedo, sport coat, suit coat
Brit: dinner jacket

US: drunk driving
Brit: drink driving

US: school principal
Brit: headmaster

US: vacuum cleaner
Brit: hoover

US: quotation marks
Brit: inverted commas

US: ladybug
Brit: ladybird

US: go check at lost and found
Brit: go check at lost property

US: underwear, undies
Brit: pants

US: baby carriage, stroller
Brit: pram, push chair

US: backpack
Brit: rucksack

US: wrench
Brit: spanner

US: streetcar, trolley
Brit: tram

US: crosswalk
Brit: zebra crossing

US: wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole
Brit: wouldn’t touch with a bargepole

US: dame, broad, gal
Brit: bird

US: bus
Brit: coach

US: male friends, buddies, bros, the guys,
Brit: chaps, mates, lads

US: skeletons in the closet
Brit: skeletons in the cupboard

US: fart
Brit: trump

US: umbrella
Brit: brolly

US: calling someone collect
Brit: making a reverse-charge call

US: ground beef
Brit: mince

US: dead tired, exhausted, beat
Brit: knackered

US: student discount, elderly discount
Brit: student concession, elderly consession

US: on a fixed income
Brit: pensioner

US: pharmacist / pharmacy
Brit: chemist / chemist shop

US: down in the dumps, depressed
Brit: gutted

US: epic fail, jack up, mess up royally
Brit: cock up

US: barf, hurl, throw up, vomit, toss one’s cookies, retch
Brit: chunder

US: shady, creepy
Brit: dodgy

US: delish, yummy
Brit: scrummy

US: one’s own body
Brit: one’s rig

US: awesome
Brit: brilliant

..and more to be added as I come across them =)

Credits: my own experience listening to BBC Radio, Oxford Dictionaries, Bored Panda, GrammarCheck, Englisch-hilfen, Wikipedia, JustEnglish.me, How Stuff Works, Anglotopia,

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“Weekly Double Crosser” Puzzle Concept

This is a crossword puzzle concept I came up with sometime around 2003, but never really tried aggressively publishing any, until now. I’m putting it out there to see whether anyone might like this concept to become a legit weekly puzzle here, and to gauge whether they think it might be too difficult or too easy, or just right.

The rules are simple: Either draw two of this shape —

..or print out a copy of this design (pdf, two figures on one page), and fill out the blanks as you normally would any standard crossword puzzle — except with the twist, that there are two clues for each down number and across number, because on which puzzle they belong is not specified.

The first 1-down could go on the left side, and the other 1-down naturally on the right, but first 2-down could go on the right; you never know which one it goes on until you get others to fit.

Clues:

~~~ ACROSS ~~~
~~~ DOWN ~~~
1. Not night 1. Not basey
1. Garfunkel 1. Struggles to keep
   
4. vehicle 2. Between ! and #
4. OJ judge 2. Sun deity
   
5. netflix offerings 3. foutain of
5. gooey slick 3. draw on thin overlay
   
7. Top Scout rank 5. Sun’s name
7. Cyrus’ breaky subject 5. lyr.”Sending out an”
   
10. call __ duty 6. Diamond Phillips
10. lyr.”it’s magic” 6. Common sweetener init.
   
11. popular -dictionary,init. 8. online chortle
11. surgery area 8. decay
   
12. bobsledder cousin 9. Before
12. dagger-eye feels 9. Boston __ Party
   
14. coffee drink 13. US civil war victor
14. coney snack 13. competed for speed
   
15. aural orifice 14. Hagman
15. black goop 14. unshaven jaw
   
17. farm allergen 16. Australia domain ext
17. doesn’t work 16. liquor quitter meetup
Posted in Uncategorized, Wednesday Double Crosser | Leave a comment

“Weekly Double Crosser” Puzzle Concept

This is a crossword puzzle concept I came up with sometime around 2003, but never really tried aggressively publishing any, until now. I’m putting it out there to see whether anyone might like this concept to become a legit weekly puzzle here, and to gauge whether they think it might be too difficult or too easy, or just right.

The rules are simple: Either draw two of this shape —

..or print out a copy of this design (pdf, two figures on one page), and fill out the blanks as you normally would any standard crossword puzzle — except with the twist, that there are two clues for each down number and across number, because on which puzzle they belong is not specified.

The first 1-down could go on the left side, and the other 1-down naturally on the right, but first 2-down could go on the right; you never know which one it goes on until you get others to fit.

Clues:

~~~ ACROSS ~~~
~~~ DOWN ~~~
1. Not night 1. Not basey
1. Garfunkel 1. Struggles to keep
   
4. vehicle 2. Between ! and #
4. OJ judge 2. Sun deity
   
5. netflix offerings 3. foutain of
5. gooey slick 3. draw on thin overlay
   
7. Top Scout rank 5. Sun’s name
7. Cyrus’ breaky subject 5. lyr.”Sending out an”
   
10. call __ duty 6. Diamond Phillips
10. lyr.”it’s magic” 6. Common sweetener init.
   
11. popular -dictionary,init. 8. online chortle
11. surgery area 8. decay
   
12. bobsledder cousin 9. Before
12. dagger-eye feels 9. Boston __ Party
   
14. coffee drink 13. US civil war victor
14. coney snack 13. competed for speed
   
15. aural orifice 14. Hagman
15. black goop 14. unshaven jaw
   
17. farm allergen 16. Australia domain ext
17. doesn’t work 16. liquor quitter meetup
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Tom Swifty Tuesday: Feb 2018 Week 2

My hemorrhoids can run circles around yours, and that’s just the way I like it,” Tom prolapsed.

Come up with a better Tom Swifty joke than this, and your tweet will get featured on this post and added to the Masterlist of Tom Swifty Jokes with credit for submitting it.. It’s Tom Swifty Tuesday!
Continue reading

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